The Throwback: Deuces Wild

The Preamble
Attention "Oh and Two" Teams, you've been put on notice. Hen Pen and Jared Sucks should probably be pushing one of these this week.

As for them Kolber Kissers and Jam. Davis Manly Keepers, it's all clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose ... That is until the week is over.

For the rest of you, well, there's nothing wrong with being mediocre. I mean, you could be doing much worse. Wait, is that Jamie O’Hara?

So, Week Three, we dub the the Great Week of Reckoning.

The Gloat of the Week

Dear Phil Rivers,

Please, if you are a great and merciful QB, please continue to lose games but keep up your awesome.

Love,
Jared Davis

The Fightin’ Rod Smarts showed the league this past week how you play the game (above average QB play, balanced RBs driving your point, and your complimentary players (TE, Flex, K, Defense) knowing their roles ... and putting up a whopping 75.3 points alone.

So, it is great respect that we dube He Hate Me as The Gloat of the Week.

The Goat of the Week

Coaches like to encourage their players to leave it all on the field.

Unfortunately, CoCo's All-Stars were shining on the bench. Y'know a measly 112 points were begging to be put in. Apparently, GM Salley is not an equal opportunity employer.

This week's Goat of the Week is proudly awarded to CoCo's A.S.s.

Game of the Week

Everyone likes fireworks (if you don't you're letting the terrorists win). We got to see some from Norfolk State and Jared Sucks, really the only game this week that was anywhere within a 10 point margin. I guess the Throwback has to give the game ball over by de-Faulk (Do you see how bad it is? I have resort to these kind of puns).

The Game Ball Goes ...

... to State teammates and bros 4 life, Brees and Frank Gore. If you think this Norfolk team is going to be hit or miss, well, you may be right. This is the guy who did rip off an amazing run last year, winning the first eight games of the season (I'd also like to point out, the Hobbits dropped their first playoff game). Circle Week 5 on your calendars, Gobblers, that's Bree's first bye-week.

And We're Out

Saturday still counts as Week 2, am I right?