Week Three: Down to Earth

The Preamble
Another new season and some things never seem to change. Take for instance greenhorn Hen Pen. Mr. Henderson takes over the Marx Madness franchise and has yet to turn the team around (meaning, he's still winless).

Some things are still going strong. Take for instance, our humble Commissioner's crushing win over his arch-rival, the Huron Heartbreakers. But, it's the Throwback's opine that every week brings another arch-rival for the boss.

No, wait, this boss.

The Gloat of the Week

If we took a poll of the owner who probably gets the least respect around here, it might just be CoCo's All-Stars Whos Ochocinco [sic].

If we go back in time, you'll find, starting in the year 2000 ... and 6, that Ben B. has placed 7 of 12, 9 of 10, and 9 of 12. Stop ... Maybe that ill-respect is well deserved.

Well, this week, stand up and be proud Chad Johnson inquisitors, you're getting your just desserts.

So, it is with great aplomb that we designate Whos Ochocinco [sic] as The Gloat of the Week.

The Goat of the Week

Will never votes for me.
–David N.

Above was a quote from Norfolk State this past week. Why would anyone with a sane mind vote for a team who drops turds all over the virtual field? When your top scorer is your defense, well, go ahead and suit up.

This week's Goat of the Week is, with great dignity, awarded to the "mighty" Norfolk Junior College.

Our Very Scientific Power Rankings ... or Ranklings

Back by popular demand is the most controversial segment of the Throwback.

Yes folks, get ready to whine, the Throwback is putting you in line.

Crafty Like Foxes
1. HesAKeeper (Jamie)
2. The Kolber Kissers

Not Bad ... Could Be Bett-ah
3. Fighting Gobblers
4. Whos Ochocinco
5. He Hate Me

The Token Dark Horse
6. NL Supremacy

Mediocre w/ A Chance of Meatballs
7. my team sucks
8. Norfolk State
9. Huron Heartbreakers
10. Tinea Cruris

In A League of His Own (That's Not A Good Thing)
11. CoCo's All-Stars

Bobby Petrino's Love Child
12. Hen Pen

And We're Out

After the wheeling and dealing, we're not sure if my team sucks is more this ... or this.